We have been told so often about the common mistakes that parents make when raising children that very often the all important question of being a good parent is sidelined. After all, there is a subtle yet important difference between the two that should not be ignored. Many parents focus so much on trying to avoid the pitfalls of parenting that they become negligent to the good aspects of parenting.
The fact of the matter is that being a good parent comes instinctively to some people. However, the good news is that wonderful parenting is an art which can be learned and so there is no need to worry unduly about it. The first behavioral trait you will find in good parents is their complete lack of presumption. So many people feel that they know what is best for their children. The problem with such thinking is that it limits the ability to be original and deal with the problems of your children intelligently.
Having experienced the traumas of childhood first-hand does not ensure that you have all the answers in your kitty. Being a good parent means that you take the changing times into account and understand that a comparison of your childhood with that of your children can never be fair. The problems that plague and bother your child today will definitely be different from what you faced when you were a child.
Today, children mature a lot faster than we did when we were kids. For us, childhood was a relatively slow-paced affair while for today’s young generation things change everyday and keeping pace with life poses a whole new set of challenges that we as parents are not aware of. Being a good parent means that all outdated comparisons have to be dispensed with.
One of the most common problem parents’ face in present times is their children’s ever-increasing demand for expensive shoes or clothes or other gadgets which their friends possess. Many parents feel that their children are being insensitive and callous and do not wish to pamper them by giving into these demands. Being a good parent does not mean that you buy things for your child which you cannot afford to in the first place. However, dismissing all demands by assuming that your child is acquisitive is also not the right thing to do.
Try and empathize with your child in situations like these rather than being judgmental. Understand that these demands are prompted because of the possessions of other kids in school. Your child desires the same objects as he does not want to feel excluded or inferior to others. At this juncture, a practical gesture would be to talk to your child and broaden his horizon of thinking. Even if he is young, you can bring about the awareness that material possessions do not determine superiority or inferiority and what truly sets a person above the rest is his humane and sympathetic nature.
Your child might not take to this idea like a fish takes to water, as it will be a different way of looking at life for him but he will definitely value this sooner or later. Infusing this belief also does not mean that you never buy the expensive things that your child wants. Wherever you feel that the demand is justified or that an occasional spending spree is not a problem, you can be an extravagant parent. This way you are being a good parent along with having a pragmatic approach towards life.
One of the secrets of being a good parent is to watch the facial expressions of your child when he communicates with you as well as with other people around him. This will tell you a lot more than just listening to what your child says. Many children do not reveal their true feelings verbally as they have their own inhibitions. Being alert to facial expressions and gestures is a good way of accessing your child’s inner thoughts and emotions. Along with this, be a good listener to your child and devote quality time where you discuss not only his school and friends but other areas of interest that both of you have. After all, the metamorphosis of the child into a friend is the most desired gift to any parent.
Another great way of being a good parent is to participate actively in parent evenings. Your avid interest will be a great encouragement for your child to perform better and you will also get to know of his development in studies and other extra-curricular activities. Today, many parents are unable to help children with their school work as this necessitates some amount of computer literacy as well as knowledge of current teaching trends.
In case you have time on your hands as a parent, you could polish your computer skills and read up on teaching methods so that you can give a helping hand when necessary. Learning computer skills from your children might also be a good way of allowing the fun element into your relationship. There is even a possibility that your child admires your honest admission of ignorance in something that he/she is good at and takes a real interest in educating you. There are a lot of parents who feel the need to portray themselves as all-knowing and superior. There is no need to do so. On the contrary, your child will respect you all the more if you admit that there are certain things that you also find difficult to grasp rather than judging you as imperfect.
Even though being involved with your child’s school activities is commendable, being a good parent means that you have to keep your eyes open for your child’s reaction to your interest in their studies. Some children are perfectly capable of handling their curriculum by themselves and your zeal may be misconstrued as interference. In such cases, it is better to back off and provide help only when asked.
Many parents are paranoid about the times we live in and the issue of safety that has been so blatantly threatened by it. In a bid to shield their children, they try and set limits that are not age-appropriate. Children react adversely to this as they perceive it to be manipulative and controlling behavior on the part of their parents. One of the most important lessons you have to learn on the way of being a good parent is that coddling your children never works and your children will even start rejecting sensible and practical advice on your part so as to assert their freedom. So, beware of this tendency.
To sum it up, the whole crux of being a good parent is to accept your children as individuals who have their likes and dislikes as well as their strengths and weaknesses and respect them for what they are rather than what you would like them to be. Doing so will guarantee that not only are you a good parent, but your children are also great children to have.
Posts Tagged ‘Good’
The Secret Nuances of Being a Good Parent
Sunday, August 1st, 2010World of Warcraft Recruitment: How to Get Good Results
Tuesday, July 27th, 20101. Introduction
Recruitment is one of the most important duties of guild leaders or officers. At the same time it is also an area where a lot of guilds go wrong. Often guilds go about the task of recruitment the wrong way. Or you might have thought that recruitment is something that happens automatically and suddenly find yourself out of active members. In this guide we will look at the most important aspects to consider when recruiting for a guild. How do you properly advertise your guild? How do you get good results?
The first step toward successful guild recruitment is to set your goals, in detail. Regardless whether you’re just starting out or just want to kickstart your recruitment, you should spend some time writing a guild charter. Explain what makes your guild special among all the other guilds on the server. Here’s a list of questions you should answer in your charter:
2. Public relations
Writing a charter for your guild serves a double purpose. First of all it will provide you an opportunity to think about what you really expect from the game, from your guild. What do you expect from your members and what are you willing to do to reach those goals.
Secondly the charter will provide you with the perfect foundation for a good guild website. Often your website will be the first (and all too often the last) thing people will look at when considering your guild. Time working on your website is always time well spent. A good website does not just list your progress and provide your members with a forum to chat during work hours. If done right, it should provide potential recruits with invaluable information about your guild.
The most important aspect of recruitment lies in how you make other players perceive you and your guild. To mold your guild and attract the right people to help you on your path, you have to project the correct image to the public. A good guild reputation is your most valuable asset. The charter is the first step toward this. Making everybody aware of your goals in the beginning will help you avoid a lot of grief later on. One of the most common underlying reasons to guilds failing is the failure to communicate your guild’s ideology properly.
This is also the reason why guilds often require their members to follow a certain code of conduct. Your members are your guild’s face to the public. Try to prevent your members from behaving inappropriately toward other players, be it ingame or on forums. One thoughtless comment by one of your members can ruin weeks of hard work you put into building the guilds reputation. Being polite and helpful toward outsiders demands very little effort on your part and it’s an easy way to build a good reputation on your server.
Recruitment officers
Picking the right kind of people as recruitment officers can have a major impact on your guilds recruitment. In most guilds the job of recruitment officer is limited to screening applications on your guild forum. That is a mistake. Replying to applications on your forums should only be a small part of what your recruitment officer does. A recruitment officer is basically your public relations officer. The most important thing your recruitment officers can do is to run heroic instances with people outside your guild. This accomplishes two goals of recruitment:
Poaching
Members and officers who actively seek groups with players outside the guild are your best tool for healthy recruitment. However, when try to avoid to be seen as a poacher. Poaching is the act of specifically trying to recruit people who are already guilded.
Now, technically, there is nothing wrong in a moral sense with this practice. It’s comparable to standard headhunting practices in the business world. If a rival guild has a talented member which you think you might persuade to join your guild, then by all means, try to recruit him/her. If the player decides to leave his old guild then he wasn’t a good match for his old guild anyway.
You may want to keep in mind tho that the other guild and the players in it might not see it that way. Most guilds are fiercely protective of their members. This is only natural, since your recruitment activities may directly interfere with their ability to pursue their own goals. Because of this they call your active recruiting poaching, trying to portray you as a thief. Of couse, most guilds have double standards in this regard. If they do it, its active recruitment or inviting friends to their guild. Still, it is in your best interest to avoid being branded as poacher guild.
It’s not worth to poach any player outright if that means you will antagonize yourself to other potential recuits in that guild or even the whole server. Befriend them and when there is an opportunity, try to induce doubt in their current guild. Let them know that they are the sort of person that you think fits into your guild. Just be available and desirable.
Selecting recruits
It can often be difficult to find recruits that fit your guilds requirements. Make use of online resources. Check recruitment forums. Specialized websites, such as recruit-gamers.com can help you finding players that meet your basic gear requirements and playtimes, be it on your server or willing to transfer from another server. That being said, make sure the players also are a good match for your guild in other aspects. Don’t just look at their equipment and playing hours. Take a few minutes to talk to them about their personal goals. See if their goals mesh with the guild’s goals. Look at their reputation on their server. Recruiting somebody with a bad attitude will do more harm than good, no matter how good their skills and/or playtimes might appear.
Recruitment Check-list:
When do you stop?
So when do you stop recruiting? Let’s say you have enough members to do raid instances (10 or 25, depending on your goals). Does this mean your recruitment officer can take a break? Well, if your members are all hardcore raiders, he could, but I would advise against it. Sure, people like to have their guaranteed raid spot. Sure, you might get great progress raiding with the minimal numbers required. But it is a fact that people sometimes quit playing. When that happens, you want to be prepared. The size of your raid force should depend on how active/dependable your members are, but it should always exceed the minimal number required. As a rule of thumb i would suggest the following:
Resources:
Official WoW Guild Recruitment Forumshttp://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/board.aspx?fn=wow-guild-recruitment
Most guilds submit recruitment posts on the official forum. The downside is that your post will quickly disappear in the back pages if you don’t keep bumping your post to the top.Recruit-Gamershttp://www.recruit-gamers.com/
Offers an alternative to the official forum. Submit your guild’s recruitment status to a searchable database. Or if you want to actively look for new members, search the database for potential recruits.Warcraft Realms Character Historyhttp://www.warcraftrealms.com/charhistory.php
Check up on your applicant’s guild history.
Leaning on a Good Parenting Tip for Same Sex Parents
Thursday, May 13th, 2010Parenting has undeniably become a more complex reality than ever before. One of the crucial issues in the aspect of modern parenting is same sex parenting. Although it may be true that same sex parents may have existed even before this century, the issue has become more prominent in the modern age. There may be a variety of reasons for this, but whatever the reason, same sex parents and their families are on the social spot light.
Some support while others criticize same sex parents and these parents are probably out looking for a good parenting tip amidst all the hoopla. Same sex parents are still parents and are therefore equally as concerned for their children as heterosexual parents. Their need for a relevant parenting tip in a world where each parenting tip is for heterosexual parents is immediate. What can be a good parenting tip for same sex parents?
Be Honest
The foremost parenting tip for same sex parents involves honesty. There is, after all, no point in being with a partner you love if you have to keep it from your children. A recommended parenting tip therefore is to explain your situation to your children as soon as they are able to understand. When should parents speak up? Another crucial parenting tip is knowing when the appropriate time is. Kids are different from each other. Some mature faster than others. It is generally accepted though that kids today have an early recognition and understanding of reality as kids a few decades ago. A good parenting tip is to know your kids yourself. As a parent you know when the right time is.
Build a Close Relationship
Crucial to the parenting tip on honesty is the parenting tip on building good relationships with your kids. It’s easier to be honest with a child with whom you are close with. At an early age, be your child’s favorite playmate, confidante and best friend. Make your child comfortable with you by spending as much time with him/her. Make him/her feel that you will be around to help and that it’s okay to tell you things. Any parenting tip would tell you that building a close relationship starts while your child is at a young age.
Communicate Love and Logic
While you’re at the parenting tip on building a meaningful relationship, make sure that your relationship is based both on love and logic. Tell your kids that being gay doesn’t necessarily mean that you are less successful than other people. Tell them too that being gay doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll love them less or provide for them less. Tell them that there is no connection between being gay and being an incapable and unfit parent.
Accept Reality
An important parenting tip for same sex parents is the acceptance of reality. Sure, gay couples accept their being homosexuals. What they should also accept however is that their children may be made to suffer for their parents’ sexual orientation. Not everyone accepts homosexuality. The mere fact that major political and social leaders in American society have voiced opposition to same sex parenthood is enough indication that society has not fully accepted the gender choice. It is a good parenting tip to accept that kids may be bullied so that one may be better able to address the problem.
Seek Help
A final parenting tip is to seek for professional help for your kids and family. In spite of your best efforts to boost your child’s confidence and make him/her understand that homosexuality is not an abnormality, your child may not easily cope with the situation of being bullied. When the situation becomes too much for you to handle, look for support groups, counseling opportunities and parent resources to help you.